Instead of telling you what I’ve been working on lately, I decided to mention some of the jobs I’ve been offered that I didn’t take:
A page in a coffee table book of black & white close-ups of anonymous vulvas.
The plan was to donate the profits to a cervical cancer charity so I might have considered it, but the Animal didn’t like the idea and although the team were earnest well-meaning folk I agreed with him. The anonymity struck me as sad, a shame, a waste, in a collection of such personal images. And the focus on external genitalia seemed misdirected, an arty not-very-unique selling point that left the cervix unconsidered. A book of cervix photos with the subjects’ names, ages and such would have interested me more.
A girlie fight video for Catz Review.
After waching one of these topless catfights on DVD, I knew I wasn’t interested – the footage had low production values and was pretty low on entertainment value too. If they got a ring/cage for the fights, an on-camera referee, and more audio content (like some music, some yelling and a bit more commentary), this could be an amusing project. As it stands though, this is a poorly lit video clip of a couple of out-of-breath youngish women slapping each other and trying to pin each other down on a couple of thin gym mats in a corner of a room (apparently it’s a dance studio or something, but it has a low windowsill in the corner against which a head will probably one day get smacked).
They do pay well though, so if you’re female and interested in fighting for cash you can contact them at fightinggirls@live.co.uk.
A lingerie shoot for Stockings & Romance.
This was a job I really wanted to take because they have such pretty 1940s/50s pin-up style lingerie, but being pregnant means that I keep changing size and that’s deeply unhelpful when you need to plan a lingerie & corsetry shoot. Even before I got pregnant I was a bit bigger in the bust than their usual models. By the date they were shooting, I would have been about a GG cup and incapable of stuffing myself into their cute pointy bras. Shame.
